Sunday, July 19, 2015

let me muse

Lately, I underwent a private house remodeling. In my heart. What and whom I had centered my heart, life, my breath around was whipped out from under my feet.  What an awakening to my way of living, breathing, dying... in a way, my body, mind, soul is in grieving. True, no one died, yet profoundly true, my heart has died.

\\Technology was kind enough to create #blogger and I was smart enough to start using it more often for my healing process. Okay, yes. I sound insane. Perhaps I am...  perhaps this mishap of perhaps will lead my soul back home in the center of a God who loves me.  Like said quote... turn around to walk to God and see He's running towards you with open arms. //

Monday, October 13, 2014

Consistency and Revelation

     Worry is my greatest enemy. Countless times I've allowed the stress and cares of this ungodly world grab me and shake me up and down. Gripping and pulling, tearing and ripping my life to shreds, while all the while, keeping up my outer appearance with a smile. Oh, and worry can attack the simplest things. Homework for the next day, relationships that concern the future, college decisions, life plans, and what you're going to text that certain friend later that day.

I'm being honest, I haven't been the best Christian during these last few months. School, people, and cares of my future have attacked me, and I greeted them with blind and open arms. I wasn't consistent with the Holy Spirit in my every day walk with God and things of the world flooded me. Like He promised, He's always been here with me. In every room, every time I open Google, with every page I open in a text book, and inside of every conversation within myself.

I grew up going to church three times a week, and hearing God's word every day in my daily home school. Yet now,at my age and at this time in my life, the Devil attacks harder than ever. Trying every door and through each thought to gain access into my mind, he never gives up and clocks in every 24 hours. I must not let him win. However... I cannot stand alone. Contrary to how strong I think I am.

My God died for me.
Even as I write that sentence, my heart shivers with awe.
Then why must I reject his continuous help, his everlasting guidance, and undying commitment?
This is the struggle of the Christian life.
Instead of grabbing God's hand, panting at his Love, and running after his consistency, I stalk my OWN wisdom?

This past weekend, my dear friend Lizzie emailed me with a sweet update from her life. Inside of her innocent email was a dagger of truth. As she poured her heart out to me about her developing relationship with her sweet Savior, the Holy Spirit whispered to my aching heart: "What improvements in your intimate relationship with Jesus have you to share with her?"
My mind was blank.
Tears poured down my face. I was empty handed.

We all have books full of truth, called God's word.
Underneath our ( my )  facade, do we ( I ) actually use it?
Do we ( I ) delve daily into the tasty flavor of his words like we dive into Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, or Instagram?
Do  we ( I ) check the bible every 5 minutes for updates, notifications, or messages?

I want to thank you, Lizzie. Thank you for being the arrow that God meant you to be and for correcting my direction towards Him.